I am presenting a workshop at The Compassionate Friends national conference next month entilted: “The Bereaved Parent- Five Years Later.” Linda Findlay of Mourning Discoveries and I originally developed the idea for this workshop to discuss the needs of the later grief experiences of bereaved parents. We chose…
I don’t think there is any kind of definitive answer to that question. Some folks say the thought of dating again is almost sickening to them. Others begin dating quite soon after the death of a spouse. From my experience of walking with many folks in both camps, I have concluded that the timing has very little…
Change and transformation are a necessary part of life. Until we are willing to enter into the process with our whole heart, we cannot really let go of the past. We cannot let it be what it was – the catalyst that brought us to where we are now as the new emerges out of the old. Truly, our pain and suffering…
My daughter loved Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thanksgiving was special because she was born on this day. Christmas gave her a chance to give to others, even though she had little money. In her younger years, when she didn’t have twins to care for and her job as an engineer, family members often received homemade gifts…
The pain of grief tends to surface with great intensity during “milestone” events. Birthdays, anniversaries and holidays are typical events that are associated with our grief journeys. The intensity of grief is usually highest for many during the first year that these milestone events are experienced. However…
It’s not uncommon for people to have bad days interspersed by good ones after a loss. Eventually, the scales tip and the good days outweigh the bad. There will come a time when you think that you have gotten over your loss, only to find that you are sitting on the couch crying like the loss occurred yesterday. Grief triggering is a term that describes the action of hearing a song…
When you experience the death of a loved one, you feel as though a part of you is gone as well. You feel bereft and alone straight to your core. Trying to move on from such a staggering loss is never easy. The rate at which you are able to move on will differ from the length of time it takes another friend or family member. When you allow yourself to grieve in stages…
What if you woke up to discover that your happiness was completely gone? That happened to me one cold November morning. Sid, my husband and soul mate for almost thirty-eight years, had died suddenly in his sleep. I felt like my heart could not possibly go on beating without him. I remember lying alone in the dark that night, begging God to take me, too. But when the sun came up, I was still breathing. Even though I could barely function at the time, I knew deep in my shattered heart that somehow I would have to eventually figure out how to find the road back…
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Now, I’ve never been a stranger to the isolation that comes from feeling like you just don’t fit into your surroundings. But I’ve never felt as isolated in my whole life as I have after the death of my daughter. As a child, I was a shy, introverted person and often felt different than the people around me. At the time, I never really knew why. While I didn’t like the feeling of isolation, I didn’t understand what caused it so it just became a fact of life. Over the years my shyness has lessened, but I still prefer…
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One day all is well and the next day it is as if a merciless smug burglar invades the private chambers of your heart swiping your happiness. Immediately you shift your focus onto your Rolodex of flashbacks of what could possibly have caused this wound. Heartache may be brought on by the disappearance of a commitment from a loved one, loss of communication, loss of companionship, loss of a dream, death, divorce and rejection of love to name a few. When your heart of compassion feels…
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