What should I do with all the family photographs? How can I share my father’s legacy with my children and grandchildren? How do I remain connected with my mom after her passing? Where can I go besides the cemetery to spend time with my sister? Creating a memorial honoring your loved one is a great way to keep their…
Five days from today will mark the first year since my wife died. The actual date this year is on Sunday, but since the date last year was on Saturday and she died early in the morning, just after midnight, to me, the year ends as I relive that horrible Friday night. I have been reliving the week day by day not…
It was her daughter’s birthday. The fifth one since she died. Many of the people she meet that day had no idea that this was a special day, how much every birthday hurt, and how certain birthdays hurt more than others. Fifth is really no different than fourth, but somehow it seems more significant. To her it felt…
Many months after my husband’s death I remember asking my grief counselor, “When will I be over my husband’s death?” Her answer was “Never.” However, she was quick to add that I could recover from his loss. That meant eventually accepting his death and learning to cope without my husband Sid. I knew I would never…
I have a friend named Paula Loring who I think is the best leader of grief groups I have ever known. She lives in San Antonio, Texas and has made a tremendous impact there through her marvelous way of getting people to talk in groups. She has an outline of the grief process that I am sure I have refered to in other…
As I said in the last post, I used to say we should start dating when we feel we are ready, then I went through the experiences of the first year after the death of a spouse and realized there are some false readies that can make us think we are ready when actually we are just going through the biological response…
Since most of us are no longer teenagers, going out sounds so much better than dating. The question I always get is “When should I start?” And now that I am in those same shoes I am having to face that question in real time. I used to say a person should begin when they feel like doing so. I said that to help fight…
I recently read a book called: Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road, by Neil Peart. Peart is the lyricist and world renowned drummer for the Canadian rock band, Rush. His daughter Selena, age 19, died on August 10, 1997, as a result of a car accident and his common-law wife, Jackie died on June 20, 1998…
I originally wrote this piece for my blog on March 1, 2014, my daughter Jeannine’s 11thangelversary date. Since year nine of my life as a parent who has experienced the death of a child, I have written about the teachings I have discovered when spending time with Jeannine on her angelversary date. I wanted to again…
On several occasions in the almost eleven years since my daughter Jeannine’s death, I have attended calling hours for several friends whose loved ones have died. If the deceased is not a child, I will sometimes get comments like, “I know it is not the same (death of a child), but I feel so horrible (about my loss).”…