It’s OK to Remember No Comments

July 15, 1993 is the day that my mother, at the age of 35, unexpectedly took her last breath. She was the individual who tucked me into bed each night, made sure I was bathed and fed, and played with me. She was the woman who loved me unconditionally and who taught me how to pray. She was the person who held me for the first time and heard my first words. She was the person I trusted…

Absence of Touch No Comments

Six weeks after my father died, I lost my fifty-six-year-old husband very suddenly. My mother and I have often discussed how sad and strange it was to be widowed at about the same time. Because of factors like our ages, some issues we faced were obviously very different. But Mother and I also found many similarities in our journeys through grief…

Unrealistic Memories No Comments

After you lose someone you love very much, I think it is only natural to think about that person in a very positive way. But sometimes we can go too far, and if we do, we end up with unrealistic memories. I know my husband, Sid, was very bothered when a friend of his died, and his wife promptly turned him into a saint. Sid scolded me about that, saying, “When I go, don’t turn me into some super guy!”…

Helping Yourself Through Grief No Comments

During the months following a death those who are grieving often ask, “How can I help myself?” or, “What do I have to do next?” The reality is that you may have a great deal of support from family or friends, or from professionals, but you must be engaged in your own recovery. There is a great deal you can do for yourself. Here are some tips others have found helpful. Learn all you can about grief. Much has been published about grief over the years and it is a subject that many professionals are attempting to understand. Many funeral homes have a library with resources that will be helpful…

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A Forever Decision: Letting Go of a Dog (Part 11) No Comments

All right. I’m officially depressed. I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to name the illness. But I’m admitting it. I am paralyzed. This is the third day that I have not been able to accomplish any task except eating, drinking, walking my dog, and talking to Walter on the phone. I suffer from depression and anxiety year-round anyway. But now I have things to do and I can’t do them. I feel overwhelmed. There are too many changes going on at once, and the voices in my head are coupling…

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It’s About Love No Comments

In so many ways, losing a loved one changes things forever. Those special relationships can never be replaced, yet even though it feels as though we have suffered a great loss, our loved ones are still so much a part of the fabric of our lives and of who we are – and that we’ll always have, whether we can see them physically or not. The void we feel after such a loss is there for a reason. It’s giving us the time we need to work through our loss, and if we hang in there, eventually that feeling of loneliness will transform into solitude…

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Moving Forward Through Heartache No Comments

One day all is well and the next day it is as if a merciless smug burglar invades the private chambers of your heart swiping your happiness. Immediately you shift your focus onto your Rolodex of flashbacks of what could possibly have caused this wound. Heartache may be brought on by the disappearance of a commitment from a loved one, loss of communication, loss of companionship, loss of a dream, death, divorce and rejection of love to name a few. When your heart of compassion feels…

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A Forever Decision: Letting Go of a Dog (Part 10) No Comments

Uncle Steve went home. He’s back in his home after six weeks – one week in the hospital and five weeks in the rehabilitation center trying to strengthen his limbs so he could walk better. In a strange way, I’ve had a strong emotional reaction against the move. I’ve cried like a baby. It took me a couple of days, but that’s what I did. If I can figure it out at all, it’s that I’m thinking, “This is the beginning of the end.” And that makes me really sad. My Aunt Doris came home after rehabilitation…

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Never the Same Again – the Loss of My Daughter No Comments

Life does not progress in a predictable or orderly fashion. We are confronted with a series of challenges that present us with two choices: 1) To do nothing and stagnate emotionally and spiritually; 2) to allow those challenges to transform us and help us find meaning and enlightenment. This is the story about the loss of my daughter, Jeannine. I remember recently looking at a picture of my late mother and me, which was taken about thirty years ago at my wedding reception…

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The Journey of Grief: Sad or Depressed? No Comments

It has been six months since my wife died. This anniversary passed almost without notice and then I felt guilty for not noticing. I have been up to my ears in alligators of late and somehow the date did not register. As would be expected, I have been sad ever since she died. Sadness is the normal and expected response to such a loss. Sad and lonely seem to sum up my days and especially my nights. I almost cherish the sadness. Not that I do not want to move past the pain, but the sadness…

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