Mary Bart

Mary Bart is the Chair of Caregiving Matters, a registered charity that offers education and support to family caregivers. She was her parents’ principal caregiver for ten years and first-hand experience in helping aging parents, dealing with family dynamics, protecting parents from elder abuse and working with public and private organizations.

Dear Mary: No Dinner For My Father No Comments

Dear Mary, I dropped by after work a couple of times this week to see my parents who are both in their mid 70’s. I was shocked to find the house in darkness, my Mother asleep and my Dad watching TV. I asked him if they had had an early supper. He just simply said, there is no supper tonight. He said basically the same thing on my second visit this week. Seems Mom sleeps alot in the afternoon and does not make supper anymore. What? Why? As of when? Many nights my Father makes some toast and jam for his dinner around 8:30 when he starts to get hungry…

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Dear Mary: Dividing Up the Ashes No Comments

Dear Mary, My mom just passed the Wednesday before Easter and now we are having problems with a brother who showed up after 35 years of absence. He wants the ashes from mom. We are going to take her back to you home where the rest of the family is. Mom wanted us to the two daughters to do this. She also informed us not to let the boys (our brothers) to not do this. She has tried over the years to call , write letters to the one brother that has been gone but there has never been a response. He has started to cause problems within the family by saying hurtful things…

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Dear Mary: Welcome to My World No Comments

Dear Mary, I have the major caregiver to both my parents for 14 years. My father died in 2000 and I have been looking after mom ever since. She had open heart surgery at the age of 85, she had a significant personality change. I also have a mentally challenged sister who has just been diagnosed with a rare lymphoma. To make matters worse, my brother, the alcoholic play boy has been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. He has nothing to lose so he tried to sell my mothers’ land and he will not pay…

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Dear Mary: Need to Know No Comments

Dear Mary, My Dad has MS and has about 4 months left to live. We are a very close family and his situation has finally set in with family and friends. My Dad and our family are bombarded with questions about his health on a daily bases. My Dad is a very private person and we are all getting tired of the same questions. We know that everyone means well but it is too much for us to handle. What should we do? George…

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Dear Mary: Caring for Grandma No Comments

Dear Mary, My husband’s mother is not doing very well these days. She is 88 years old and still lives in her own house. She has not been eating well, and is often found in bed when one of her children comes by to visit. My husband and his siblings do take good care of her, but where are the grandchildren to help? There are 11 of them, and none of them come over to actually do anything for her. They drop by to show off their young children and then leave. Why don’t they help out? Rachel…

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Dear Mary: No Longer Welcomed! No Comments

Dear Mary, My Mom just left last night. She was with us for 10 days for a visit. We live about 2,800 miles apart, so it was great to have her here. My wife told me this morning that my Mom is no longer welcomed here. I had no idea that there was a problem that would cause my wife to make that statement. Should I persuade my wife to let my Mom continue to visit us? Alex…

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