Johnny was 6 years old and sitting on my couch ready to talk about grandpa–who had just died. In fact, the funeral had been a week before and a lot of people attended. I ask Johnny if he attended, he said, “Sure, I wanted to see grandpa one last time”. I said, “so, where was grandpa? He replied, “at the funeral home”. I quickly ask, “Did you go into the room where he was”. He said, “Yes”. ” So”, I replied,” that is where you saw him”? His response was emphatic, “NO”. I was confused, so I ask him again…
John Canine, Ed.D., Ph.D., noted expert and author on grief, is President of Maximum Living Consultants. Maximum Living provides bereavement counseling services to individuals, employers and funeral homes. Dr. Canine is a member of the Tomorrow’s Child Advisory Council and consults with the organization on grief support for families. Tomorrow’s Child/Michigan SIDS is a nationally recognized resource whose broad-based programs are making a major contribution to the welfare of infants, families and professionals…
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So you have decided you want to be burned up when you die. Cremation is a “hot” topic!. There are a couple of things I like about cremation, so let me give you some fuel for your fire. My father died some years ago at the age of 70—heart failure. He knew he was dying and leaned on my mother throughout the ordeal. My Mother is of German descent and a very strong, independent woman. She did not cry at my father’s funeral and seemed to be a “tower of strength”. At one point, she came to me and said…
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Still undecided about burning your body up after you die? Well, it is like a friend said to me last week, “doc, I guess it comes down to burn me up or slit my throat.” I think the latter reference was to embalming, but in the “end” you will not feel a thing–at least that is what the medical profession tells us. Anyway there are two reasons I do not like cremation. You might think a 72 year old daughter would have very little grief over a mother who dies at age 92, but that was not the case with Mary…
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Good Grief. No, I’m not simply quoting Charlie Brown. There is such a thing as “good” or “healthy” grief. For example, for years counselors and…
There are so many funeral directors who do not care about the families they serve. They should choose another profession! They don’t get it! Serving families in their greatest time of hurt requires empathy and compassion and too many funeral directors are in it for the money. They do not want to take time with the family. They do not want to guide the family through the funeral process, and they certainly do not consider themselves–nor want to be– the “death care expert”. Yet, that is exactly what they should be…
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So you want to be cremated! Burned up! You really think that is the best way to go? Let’s see, that is 1200 degrees plus Fahrenheit and since you are 80-90 percent water that means–going , going, gone–very quickly. The entire procedure (burning up muscle and organs) takes about 2 hours. And remember, the bones are rarely reduced to ashes. The cremation administrator has to put you through a grinding machine (like a blender) to get everything to be like ash with the same consistency throughout…
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Are you having trouble thinking and talking about death? I have an idea, go pick out a casket! You don’t have to pay for it, and any funeral director will be happy to show you the selection of options. Some funeral homes will have the full casket and some will have just corners and the inside material. Keep in mind the inside material is important—that is what everyone will see and you will feel. Oops, dead people do not feel. Anyway, if this is freaking you out you can call your local funeral home and just go into the office…
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Helping children through grief can be difficult. Children need to understand death and be taught (through example and discussion) how to grieve properly…
Happiness through grief is a choice. People have to ask themselves if they want to be happy. Unfortunately, there are certain people who don’t want to be…