I think an essential part of the grieving process is what I’ve heard called “liminal space,” or a time between things. If you’ve had significant loss in your life, you know that there is a time period when you are beyond the intense period of crying but you still feel the pit in your stomach, and the missing still aches inside you. It’s as if your head says to your body, “Okay, this person is gone. He/she is not coming back. You have honored them, grieved for them, allowed them the freedom to ‘go,’…now it’s time for you to move on.” So, your head and logic know that it is time…
Allison Daily
Allison Daily is the co-director of Pathfinders for Cancer Valley Angels, a non-profit serving cancer patients with volunteer services. She is also the grief counselor in the OB Department of Aspen Valley Hospital. She assists women and their families whose pregnancy doesn’t extend to full term.
Allison was a board member and President of the Aspen Youth Center. She writes for the following blogs: Intent.com, Genconnect.com, OpentoHope.com and her own blog. She has written for Living with Loss magazine.
Art and Allison Daily are the authors of Out of the Canyon: A True Story of Loss and Love. “Out of the Canyon is a riveting and powerful witness to the healing power of love and Spirit over the worst, most unimaginable loss. It both shatters your heart and deeply heals it all at once. Reading it will be a profound gift to all who have ever lost a loved one, or may.”
Art Daily is a real estate attorney in Aspen with Holland and Hart LLC. He has been in Best Lawyers of America for the past 12 years, is a member of Valley Partnership for Drugs and was on the Aspen Hockey Board for six years.
I think one of the common elements of grief, deep pain and uncertain times is the inability to trust again. This can refer to trusting others, trusting yourself and even trusting God. I think that trusting again is one of the essential elements of healing. It isn’t easy. In fact it may be one of the last parts of the grief process that surfaces, but it can also be a huge breakthrough. After Art lost his family in the accident, every part of him was raw and hurting. I’m sure there was little trust for anyone or anything. While he let others give to him and also reached out for help for himself with counseling…
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When my brother Rod killed himself the grief itself made me feel like I was going crazy. One minute I was okay and calm, the next I was hysterical. If we are in the depths of loss and grief, the intense emotions and sometimes lack of them often make us wonder, “Am I all right?” or “Am I doing this correctly?” Most of want to know we are doing something properly– even grieving. Think about it, that’s why there are so many self-help and ‘how-to’ books. For many people, those books are hugely helpful because they help us know either what is coming next…
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When someone we love deeply leaves this earth, often the emptiness in our heart sits like a heavy weight inside of our heart or stomach area. As a grief counselor, mothers who have lost their child say they often feel as if they have no idea who they are anymore because all that they have known (or at least a part of it) is now gone. Where do I put my love? Where do I go with this ache and longing? After everyone around me goes back on with his or her lives and I am still sitting with this terrible missing, what do I do? There are many ways to answer that question…
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When your heart is broken in grief, you’re not sure how you are going to get through the next day, much less the holidays. Holidays should be spent with the ones we love. It’s a time of celebration, of giving to those we care about. So, if your loved one has died, please don’t think I am in any way making light of the hole you must feel in the center of your being. I only wish to offer ways to honor and remember the one who is gone from your life. My brother committed suicide when I was in my mid-twenties (he was thirty-two). His birthday is October 4th, so that was the first…
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